I’m not going to lie, I had been dreading putting this post up and had done everything and anything to stall it.
After having a fun photo shoot with my fabulous photographer and friend, Kari of Topanga Marie Photography, I was really looking forward to seeing the finished images from my beach photo shoot. It was the first time I ever shot a bathing suit look and I felt great while we were taking the pictures. We had a lot of fun playing with props and poses, and decided that a vintage inspired theme paired perfectly with my Always For Me Daphne Plus Size Swimdress.
When Kari sent the pictures my way, I instantly thought they were adorable. I looked cheery, the suit looked great, but I couldn’t help but to feel doubtful about myself. Then, I found myself doing something I haven’t done in a long time– I started to look for all of my flaws and insecurities in each photo. By the end of my bashing session, I had decided that only one photo could be used for the post.
The strange thing is that it wasn’t me throwing shade my way, but the voices of everyone who has ever said something negative to me. Their words kept cutting into me as I browsed through the gallery of images. Sadly, many of those voices that kept haunting me were of family members that have fat-shamed me ever since I was a chubby 9 year old girl trying to enjoy some fun in the sun. They say kids can be cruel, and that is true, but some of the adults in my family weren’t exactly the best role models either.
I finally decided that these photos would never make an appearance on my blog and set them on a folder to the far right side of my desktop. But I couldn’t help but to keep thinking about it.
You see, my weight has always fluctuated. I’ve been skinny-fat, chubby, fat, and everything in between at some point or another. I’ve always thought that being skinny would make me happy, but that is not true. In all honesty, I’m at my heaviest ever, but I also feel more confident and happier than I have ever been. So why was it so hard for me to share these photos?
I still can’t answer that question, but I can tell you what made me decide to finally hit publish on these pics.
When talking about my upcoming move to Seattle with one of my longtime friends, he reminded me that I have to keep sharing plus size fashion with the world. People need to see that full-figured people can be fashionable, because after all, fashion doesn’t have a size. He had a point, and I had a responsibility to share these photos beyond my personal files.
These photos are not about me, it’s about what I hope they will inspire someone else to do. I hope that these photos will make even one other woman feel confident enough to strut her stuff in a bathing suit, regardless what someone else may think or say. I hope that these photos will inspire just one other woman to share her swim suit photo on Instagram, without thinking about what someone else may think. Just how plus size women such a Gabi of GabiFresh and Jessica of Tiny Red Shoes have inspired me to show some skin, I hope that I can continue the chain of body positive vibes and reach even just one other woman.
So, here you have it– my first public bathing suit photos, EVER! I feel like I couldn’t have picked a better suit for my big reveal. This swim dress is modest, but still super cute and on trend. The best part? The polka dots of course!
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